Cult Adjacent
In which the author contemplates things that are cult-ish
When I was a kid in the 90’s, the church our family attended went through phases where they’d talk about all moving to South America. The United States had become too wicked, and the wrath of God was going to rain down upon it, so we had to get out before that happened.
Sometimes someone argued that surely God would protect us if we stayed. Generally, however, the consensus seemed to be that moving to South America was God’s provision for our safety, and to stay in the states would be akin to getting in a car that you knew was about to drive off a cliff and saying that God would save you. There was one random bout where they were all talking about moving to New Zealand instead, but preliminary research revealed that nobody in the church had enough money or education to even be considered for citizenship there, so the matter was quickly dropped.
Looking back, I’m not sure why God had a particular vendetta against the United States. After all, we believed all religions, including Catholics, who were outside of our own branch of evangelical Christianity were going to hell too, so why wasn’t God just as concerned with countries that were largely Catholic, or Muslim, etc?
I was thinking about all this recently, because I listened to the book Cultish by Amanda Montell, and it made me think about all the cultish things I and people I know have been involved in during my lifetime. I have a theory that growing up in conservative religion upped that number, but I don’t actually know many people who didn’t grow up in it, so maybe it’s the same for everyone. My theory is that conservative Christians are primed for cultish activities since they’re already used to suspending disbelief, obeying without questioning, and have a general distrust of government and other “secular” entities.
I didn’t realize it until a few years ago, but about the time when I was old enough to be noticing more things around me—around the late 80’s and early 90’s—it was also the start of a cool little thing people these days call “The Satanic Panic.” It honestly explained SO MUCH about my childhood when I found out that was a thing.
I grew up on books like The Bondage Breaker and going through the Seven Steps to Freedom in Christ, both of which had sections dealing with demonic influence or possession. I remember there was a guy brought in for special meetings who spoke about demonic possession at length. I don’t remember his name. What I do remember was sitting on a folding chair for far too long in the gym where we had church at the time. I liked that he was very fiery and animated and told lots of interesting stories about casting out demons, so that at least I wasn’t bored. This is very important when you’re young and have to sit through church services that are over two hours long.
Recently I watched a docuseries on the Heaven’s Gate cult (Heaven’t Gate: the Cult of Cults), and I was struck by something one of the experts said. They said (I’m paraphrasing here) that we can look now at these people who believed that The Two—the man and woman who lead the cult—were aliens, and that they too could ascend to space, etc. and think, “That’s so crazy. How could anyone think that?” But the cult also started at a time when there was a lot of upheaval in the world, and people were looking for answers, and lots of people were taking psychedelic drugs, and there was all this talk around UFO’s. So in the context of the time they were in, it’s easier to see how someone could fall into that, especially when brought in by a charismatic, persuasive leader.
When I started learning about the Satanic Panic, and the sort of things that were in the news at that time, and combined that with the types of things that were already embedded in conservative communities—distrust of government, belief in higher powers, end times, demons etc— it started to make a lot more sense that intelligent adults could fall for the sort of teachings I ended up being taught growing up. It creates this perfect storm, and some people were simply swept out to sea with it.
Some people who grew up in cults or around cultish things avoid any media about it. I absolutely understand that, but I’m personally in the “this is traumatizing but also cathartic” camp when it comes to consuming things about cults. I’m fascinated by the tactics used by cult leaders, and the amount of crossover between cults as seemingly disparate as the Institute of Basic Life Principles and Synanon. There are always tactics in common, and even a surprising amount of core beliefs in common from cult to cult.
I’m also fascinated by how people get into cults. What circumstances led them to this particular cult? Why did they stay when the abuse ramped up? What did they tell themselves to justify their leader’s actions?
At the root of this, I suppose, is the desire for the knowledge of how not to get into a cult. They’re a lot more sneaky than people think. Not every cult is the kind where you’ll drive off in a van and live on a commune. I’ve seen cult-like groups form amongst vegans, yogis, and political groups. People can turn almost anything they feel strongly about into a form of restrictive religion, where anyone questioning methods or leaders gets ostracized and demonized.
When I first left the religion I was raised in, it took me a while to realize I was having issues with being too trusting yet again, only with opposite beliefs this time. Gradually I began to realize that extremism exists in many forms. I began to notice that the extreme left and the extreme right may have been fighting for different things, but the way they expected complete adherence to a certain ideal or else was very similar.
I began to question more. Fact check more. Doubt myself less. I stopped believing that someone was telling the truth simply because they sounded smart or made points that confirmed what I wanted to be true.
I began to test out things that people I chose to listen to were saying. How did it play out in real life? Did it give the results they said it would? I also started tracking the predictions they made and seeing what happened. That astrologer said xyz would happen in the world this year. Did it? That “expert” said gas would be six dollars a gallon and never drop again. Was he right?
One thing I’ve found fascinating, both in my own experience and in studying cults, is how often the leaders make statements, promises even, of what is going to happen and when, and then are blatantly wrong over and over, yet their followers keep following them and listening to them. Why? I did that. My parents did that too. Many people throughout history have listened to “prophesies” and then just kept on believing when their prophet was wrong.
Most cults would have dissolved within a year or two at most if everyone had left the minute their leader was wrong about something they said would happen. The world would be a lot better for it, and a lot of lives would have been saved. Instead, there are too many cases of people getting dragged deeper and deeper until it ends in tragedy.
These days I’m not dogmatic about much of anything. I think some people think that makes me wishy-washy, but I spent too much of my life being wrong about things, building my life on a foundation of falsehoods I believed to be The Truth. I steer clear of groups that say there’s one way for everyone to live, eat, make money, or whatever the latest MLM is peddling.
I’ve slowly begun to build a bit of a belief system for myself again, but I’m not particularly interested in trying to get anyone else to buy into it. Frankly, I prefer to keep some things to myself these days. I’m not trying to make disciples. I’m simply trying to live my life the best I can, try not to harm more people, and hope I can do some good too.
Authors note: I apologize for this much belated edition of Growing Up Weird. I’ve had a really hard time focusing lately, and it took awhile for me to wrangle my brain back into submission. It’s also impossible to write about my childhood without thinking about how benign it was compared to what a lot of children are going through in our world right now. Living my small existence while also being bombarded with horrific news and the callous choices of people in power towards immense human suffering has taken a toll on me, as it has many of us. Sending out love to you all. May we all be part of the solution, and not part of the problem wherever and whenever possible <3
Cultish is a great book. I'm older and not from a conservative church but my parents were involved in the Charismatic movement of the late sixties for a while, though they recognized how easy it was for a few individuals to turn those into cults. We talk a lot about the Satanic Panic, but concerns about Satanism was already widespread in the late sixties and early seventies, at least in the Midwest. It was often tangled up with drugs and sometimes UFOs and the paranormal. There really was a build up of many decades that exploded in the 80s and after. We are still feeling those effects.
Having grown up in a cult, I can testify that some of those things are, indeed, cult adjacent. Especially the fear that God's judgment is about to fall on America. (My parent spent years in other countries, both to "preach the gospel to every creature" but just as importantly to leave America before it was too late.
I like your current philosophy. Try not to do harm; try to do some good, and steer clear of people claiming there's only one way to do things (especially if its THEIR way).